Choosing?
“I am who I am because of the choices I made yesterday.” - Eleanor Roosevelt
Must I, mustn’t I? Should I, shouldn’t I? Who? What? When? Where? How? Choices, choices, choices and more choices… Whenever you think, you make choices. You have free will and choosing is an inherent component of being human. Every minute of every day during your waking hours, you make a kaleidoscope of choices. Various sources estimate that the average adult makes in the region of 34 000 decisions every day! Blessing or Curse? You decide.
Samantha’s alarm clock wakes her. Her inner conversation with herself starts. “It is time to get up. Maybe I should call in sick? What shall I wear today? How shall I style my hair?” These are relatively easy ones. Others are more difficult. Yousuf faces more challenging ones. What will I say to my boss about the losses in my department? What can I do about my faltering marriage? How shall I handle my teenager’s drug abuse?” Samantha and Yousef must decide.
The challenge of choosing is that your myriads of choices have CONSEQUENCES of which some are productive and serve you well, others unfortunately not. What were your choices today? Write them down. Which one served you and others, and which did not? Perhaps you were stressed at work and poured yourself a glass of wine which became two, three or four… Maybe you were very, very impatient with someone at home or at work? What were the consequences?
I am personally responsible for my choices.
Your choices for yourself are the most important. It is the springboard for all your other choices. An example. Jo-Anne feels awful about herself although she is a beautiful woman. She criticizes herself non-stop. The result is depression. The more depressed she is, the worse she feels about herself. She cannot get herself to eat healthily, never mind exercising. Jo -Anne’s relationships are taking serious knocks. A downward spiral.
Making good choices is a skill that develops over time with practice, patience and self-awareness. Some tips to guide you in making good choices. One. Don’t condemn yourself for all the mistakes you have made in your choices. Every new day is a new opportunity to choose better. Two. Celebrate every good choice you make. However small. Encourage yourself, be your own best friend.
Three. Be open to the input of others where it is constructive. Another’s perspective can be valuable to clear your mental clutter. Four. Reverse roles. Pretend you are your own therapist and give yourself advice about making healthy choices. Five. Measure your choices against values such as kindness, compassion, accountability and reasonability.
CHOICE CREDO
I am always a chooser
I am personally responsible for my choices
My choices always have costs
My choices always have consequences for good or ill
The sum of my life is the sum of the consequences of my choices
Dr.Sonia