Want to be the best you?
“Double, double toil and trouble: Fire burn and caldron bubble…” - Shakespeare (Macbeth)
Most of us has vast, undiscovered potential and abilities. These often remain locked in and not actualized. This could result in unfulfillment, frustration, low self-confidence, and potentially additional feelings such as despair, anxiety, depression and more. Even our physical health can be compromised. The solution lies in discovering how we think. More importantly however, is to discover the source of our thoughts.
Below, deeply imbedded and entrenched in our subconscious and thus outside our conscious awareness, are core beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world around us. These result in rules, and assumptions which determine how we think, feel, as well as conduct ourselves. This can proverbially land us in the bubbling witch’s brew Shakespeare describes. On the other hand, they can also make us reach our goals and chisel quality lives; they can make us fly!
A metaphor describes the interaction of beliefs, rules, assumptions, and thoughts. Imagine your favourite tree. Each part of the tree represents an aspect of your thinking process. The roots are your core beliefs. They are invisible but run the show. The roots anchor the tree and supply water and nutrients to the rest of the tree. The branches are the resultant rules and the assumptions. The leaves plus the fruit are the thoughts.
We accumulate core beliefs, rules, and assumptions from birth, early childhood through our interaction with parents, educators, and society. These can either block or serve us. It is therefore crucial for us to investigate, measure and change what is destructive.
Examples of core beliefs are “I am failure, I am inadequate, I am unlovable, I am not good enough, ugly, stupid, I can’t change, and I am helpless. People will hurt me, people cannot be trusted, people are malicious, the world is unfair, dangerous, too hard and stacked against me.” Not all beliefs, rules and assumptions are negative of course. It is however the negative ones that need changing towards being more constructive and working for you rather than against you.
We accumulate core beliefs, rules, and assumptions from birth, early childhood through our interaction with parents, educators, and society. These can either block or serve us. It is therefore crucial for us to investigate, measure and change what is destructive. This requires following methods we can all learn with assistance. We can’t avoid having them, but we can take action to transform them. They are not fixed or unchangeable.
Let me illustrate. A five-year-old girl sits at a little table drawing a picture. Her grandmother comments, “You certainly don’t have your mother’s eye for colour and balance.” When she is grown, her friends wonder why her home and personal style is so drab despite her lively personality. There are many, many such examples. You might be able to think of similar examples from your early days. I certainly can. Of course, not all outside influences are destructive.
Another illustration. Imagine a full-grown elephant with a ten cm steel band around her hind leg, attached to a chain 180 cm long. The chain in turn is fastened to a stake that’s been driven into the ground. Now, it is obvious that the elephant could pull up the stake any time she wished but she doesn’t. The elephant was first chained to the stake when she was a baby and wasn’t strong enough to move it. She soon learned the futility of trying to yank the stake free and started to accept it as a condition of her life.
CREATIVITY means FLEXIBILITY, Agility, PLAYFULNESS, being in child mode…
By the time she was strong enough to pull the stake free she had sadly stopped trying.
Dr.Sonia